It has been said before, but it's always a good reminder: a good night's sleep makes for an easier morning. Getting to the point where you are ready and willing to actually fall asleep is another story altogether. Having a consistent plan for what you do in the evening will help you have a smoother schedule all around.
Having a nightly routine for yourself means your little one needs to have a bedtime routine to ensure you actually get some time to yourself! For us, no matter what order, my little one knows that leading up to going to bed we have to put on PJs, brush teeth, feed his fish, read three books, and lastly pray together. It is what he expects every night, and it gives him little wiggle room for stalling at bedtime. There will be special occasions that throw the routine out the window, but more often than not, stick to consistency and going to bed will be a lot easier for your little one.
Once you have some breathing room for yourself, it is good to assess whether you are a night owl or a morning person and operate accordingly. If you are a night owl, take advantage of the time and work in your prime hours. If you are more of a morning person, don't force yourself to stay up on the principle of being able to feel productive while the little one is in bed. Sleep when you are ready and wake in the morning, if that is when you feel the most energized to take on the day.
Regardless of when your prime time of operation is, the best thing you could do at night is to set yourself up for an easy morning. At the very minimum, make sure the dishes are done and counters are clean, and set up your coffee pot for instant caffeine in the morning.
Give yourself a limited amount of downtime if you need to transition from "mom mode" to "you time." We have to admit, we all could easily scroll our phones and binge episodes all night. That's fine on occasion, but be aware of what you are doing. Put a timer on, or a limit on the episode (yes, even if it ends on a ridiculous cliffhanger). Audiobooks are a great way to enjoy some entertainment while getting the needed tasks done. You don't have to feel like your evenings can only be relaxing downtime or begrudgingly getting the needed tasks done. There can be a happy medium to ensure you don't burn yourself out. Complete three needed tasks around the house and reward yourself in between with a mental break or something you are looking forward to doing kid-free. Another thing to keep in mind is that eating late is never a good idea. Try drinking a hot tea; many have herbs that encourage sleep. No matter what, stay clear of sugar and caffeine. Let your mind wind down and set your own bedtime, even setting an alarm to help you transition into your own bedtime routine. If you are honest enough with yourself to know you have a hard time actually getting into bed and going to sleep, ask your partner to hold you accountable. It can be hard to make the change, but being more intentional with your night and getting a good night's rest helps you mentally, strengthens your immune system, and makes for a better morning for everyone at home.
Help your brain prepare for sleep: Look at tomorrow's schedule to gather up things to either put by the door or already put in the car. If there is a food item in the fridge you need to remember to take with you, set your car keys in the fridge on top of the item so you literally cannot leave without it. A caveat to that life hack: it also helps to put a sticky note where you normally keep your keys so you don't panic in the morning thinking you lost them. This still works better than just a Post-it note reminder about taking the food with you. Doing all these little tasks the night before can help put your mind at ease. If you are constantly running through your mind the things you have to do as soon as you jump out of bed in the morning, it's going to be harder to fall asleep.
I am sure you have heard it before, but turn the screens off an hour before bed. There is definitely a benefit in that transition that makes falling asleep a lot easier. This is also a good time to journal and lay out your to-do list for the next day.
Give yourself thirty minutes to an hour to fill with something that is intentionally self-care. This could look like reconnecting with your husband or other friends and family members—just a real conversation to catch up with the people around you and help keep you from feeling isolated. Try reading, listening to an audiobook, or adult coloring books, which are still pretty popular and easy enough to find.
This is also a good time to take on the projects or hobbies that interest you. It doesn't have to be overly complicated—write or doodle just for fun. Embroidery and crochet are both hobbies that you can stop and start at any moment and that take a very small amount of resources and cleanup. Some other ideas are simple crafting kits, baking, painting, sewing, and micro-poetry on Twitter (daily prompts can be found online very easily). What is something you have enjoyed doing in the past but have not been able to do recently? The kicker to this suggestion is that you may need to process the day or two before and gather up supplies to complete the hobby you have in mind. I always have the thought of wanting to work on a scrapbook, but that means I need to have photos printed, which means a step before that I need to actually pick out what pictures I want to print and order them. Don't let a multi-step project discourage you; put a plan together and think through the steps and realistically how much time you have in the evenings or during the day while running errands.
All of these ideas aside, let's have a moment of real talk. We all want that perfect routine. I know I need more sleep, and I know that if I just followed all the "rules" when it comes to bedtime I would feel so much better, but I don't. Most of my evenings, I lie around binging shows, munching on junk food, and staying up way too late, justifying that this is my "kid-free" time and I have zero mental capacity left. I am, and I would say most other moms would admit that part freely too. But the idea of changing our lifestyle feels like it has to be a huge, daunting task of overhauling everything we are doing wrong all at one time. Something I don't think we hear enough is this: habits take time. We live in such a black-and-white world, where we see others succeeding and ourselves failing.