I am going to start with a disclaimer before we even dive in, because I bet there is at least one mom out there who needs to hear what I have to say: My life situation is different from yours. By no means am I offering you the perfect solution to solve all your problems. I am operating with one little boy who is almost four. Every kid is different, and every mother/child relationship is different, and that's how the real world functions. Hopefully my suggestions and encouragement below will inspire you to find out what works for you. You got this, mama!
The best way to ensure success is to preplan! If you already know the address of the new places you want to check out, have the community schedules, and have all the supplies for the craft or project you have in mind, it's a lot easier to jump right into the fun. All of that being said, here are a few fun ideas on how to incorporate having fun with my toddler into a normal week.
1) Clean Together
What? Not what you were expecting? Most of the time, your little human just wants to be in proximity to you—they want to be helpful. Being a stay-at-home mom means there are constantly things to do around the house, and cleaning does not have to be an isolated task you take care of all by yourself. When you encourage your little ones to help clean and organize, there will be fewer questions when they are older and you ask them to help out. Keeping them engaged also keeps them from causing waves of destruction in another room; nothing will make you feel more defeated than walking into a destroyed room after you have been working so hard.
There are probably a good number of tasks your toddler is willing and capable to help with, if you can accept that it isn't going to be perfect:
- Sorting and putting away clothes
- Washing dishes (Make sure there's nothing sharp in reach!)
- Putting toys away in their assigned area
- Dusting with a dry rag
- Wiping down surfaces with baby wipes (The dirtiest area is going to be right at their level anyway.)
- Using a spray bottle with water and a little vinegar and a rag for tougher grime
- Running handheld vacuums and Swiffers around on the floors (Again, baby wipes or a cleaning rag can let your little one go a little crazy on the floor without the fear of being wasteful.)
2) Go on Adventures Together
Once the older kids are back in school, a lot of community places have more room to explore without the fear of getting trampled. I recommend starting out in the mornings and early afternoons, when you are both fresh and well-rested. Check out all the local parks and walking trails available to you. Church playgrounds are also an option you may not have been aware of. Many churches that do not offer weekday programs for kids have signs on their playgrounds welcoming and encouraging the public to come play during the week. No one would bat an eye if you popped in or called the church office to double-check.
Exploring new places outside can lead to observing new things in nature, playing games like I-spy, and practicing creating patterns out of found natural objects. Let them get a little dirty—just keep some baby wipes in the car.
One of the biggest things we have been working on is making sure to bring picnic snacks with us. This has been a heated topic of conversation for me and my toddler because it also relates to being healthy and saving money. Going out doesn't mean you have to eat out! No, we cannot live off the golden arches alone! Fruit, crackers, and water all travel in the car easily enough for a snack anywhere.
Libraries are also a fantastic resource to tap into, and these aren't your humdrum story times of the past. So many have sensory activities, full-energy story times, state park passes, and some libraries even have a selection of toys that can be "checked out" as well. Many libraries are connected with media-borrowing apps (Hoopla, OverDrive, or Libby) where you can find TV shows, movies, music, audiobooks, and e-books without leaving home! If your county isn't that great at offering activities, check out what's going on in adjoining counties. We have library cards for multiple areas!
Even going grocery shopping can be a lot less stressful when you don't have to fight the crowds as much. It gives you the opportunity to give your little one more freedom, if you are brave enough. I made the mistake of letting him use a little shopping cart, and now no other option will do. He has only clipped my ankles a few times. Even at the store, we work on listening skills, picking out the right boxes on the shelves, looking at aisle numbers, learning left and right, and being courteous to other shoppers and staff.
3) Create Together
After you go on those adventurous nature walks, if you collect some leaves and rocks, they make a great medium for art! Making prints with the leaves and painting on rocks will be a classic art project till the end of time. Toddlers are full of limitless creativity—tap into it and encourage it! Have your kids help create notes and letters that they can send in the mail to family members or friends. Think about what holidays are coming up and go all in on the decorations. DIY decoration ideas are easy enough to find; there are books at the library and, of course, the internet (Give yourself a time limit for scrolling on Pinterest. This also goes back to preplanning, so you don't get sucked in for hours.)
In our house, we're going to be hitting the typical holiday gauntlet of Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas, with the bonus of multiple birthdays sprinkled in the middle. This is the time that I start to pull together ideas for handmade gifts. Decorating a picture frame, tote bag, or t-shirt are great options for abstract toddler art.
4) Help a Friend or Neighbor Together
As I mentioned, many of the creative activities you do with your toddler could make great gifts, and it also encourages the conversation toward thinking about other people. Baking is always fun, but it's better to share the treats with others before they are all consumed. Let your little one help whip up a batch of cookies—from scratch, from a mix, or even premade dough from the store, no judgment here. Decorate them, put them in gift boxes, and share with friends or neighbors.
Try to make a connection with any elderly neighbors who may be nearby. Most of the time, they welcome the company of some young energy. And if taking care of tasks around the house is a norm for you, helping someone else keep up with a few chores or tending to their garden will just be another thing your kids are willing to do with little complaint. Making a meal for someone in need—whether a new mom or someone else—helps keep the community connected.
You can also check around for community volunteer events, many of which are kid-friendly. When you and your kids get the chance to reach out, you get to make connections with other adults, and it also helps remind your kids that, despite what they may think, they are not the center of the universe and they are able to help others.
5) Learn Together
You might have a list of things you want to do eventually. Take a look at it and really consider whether you are limited now. What skills do you want to learn or sharpen? Best bet: whatever you want to do, your little ones can be included. Music, yoga, lettering, cooking, gardening—all of these things can be done together!
When I am just too busy or need a mental break from my mom role, I am desperate for my toddler to be more independent in his play. Creating a "Busy Box" is helpful: collect up things that are age-appropriate for your little one—coloring books, pipe cleaners, beads, lace cards, play-doh. These are all great, but I have a hard time reminding myself that independent play is not always naturally occurring for toddlers. The best way to create independence is by showing, which means playing together first. Fine motor skills and creative problem-solving are all great things for your little one to learn on their own, but they have to be shown first. My little guy is so easily overwhelmed when given too many things or something new. Play alongside them—it's good practice for your brain too.
I've heard more than a handful of discussions about moms just not being great at imaginative play. There is no shame in that at all, but it doesn't mean you shouldn't try. Let your kid take the lead, ask them questions, or make up a scenario. Take their favorite story or character and base it off of their adventures.
Out of all this advice and these ideas I wanted to share—did you catch the theme of where fun can be had? You have access to engage and have fun with your kids in everything you do, even the mundane tasks. At the end of the day, you are all your child wants; everything else is just extra. Yes, don't get me wrong—there are days that I let my kid veg in front of the screen so I can knock out my work, drag him into the grocery store to grab the milk where he cries about not getting a special treat, and then stick him in the backyard so I can stay on top of all the obligations that pile up. But inevitably he returns shortly and asks if I will play with him. Slow down and bring them into the fold, and you both will be able to enjoy a lot more.